SOft Girl Era

I am finally in my soft girl era. 🎉🎉

After years and years of playing games, numbing my pain, and trying to hide my heart, I have finally landed in a healthy, safe relationship, and I get to show up in my feminine in life on all levels.

After years of enduring abuse and dulling the pain with excessive partying and drinking, I used to play games with the guys to avoid getting hurt first. Now, I've embraced my feminine energy and am happy to remain in my soft girl era.

In the world we live in, we are shown how to be in our masculine energy. This is the energy of penetration, of go, go, go, of productivity, of get stuff done. And that's all we're shown is to hide your feelings, stuff it down, don't be a baby, quit your crying, stop showing so many emotions, be productive, what can you do for me?

How can you join the rat race and be running and produce 100 % of the time?

As women, we are not made for that. We aren't made to keep going all the time. We are cyclical beings who need our times to rejuvenate our energy.

Our feminine energy needs to be able to rest. We need to be safe and anchored so we can flow, play and have our fun too. But there has to be a balance. There's no good or bad here. I'm not saying that one is better than the other, but we have to be able to feel into and use both. The feminine energy is about resting, receiving, being magnetic, where I can attract things to me instead of always having to go out and do, do. That's the masculine energy. Knowing what each one is and being able to tune into each energy then use it to your advantage is so helpful.

This can help you through life, through relationship and your business.

It is so important that we all take time to nourish our soul, that we get to dance and play and have fun and fill up that feminine energy so that we can be creative and playful and happy and joyous. But we also need to make sure we're not doing that too much. There has to be that balance of time in each energy.

I need to be disciplined and gather my energy; I must take action and step out to build the life I desire. I use my masculine energy for this and to be successful in my business.

It's not always easy to step out of that energy if it's all that we know. Especially when we grow up and what we see in relationship and in the family is unhealthy. What we see modeled to us is what we grow up and then replicate. We go through the same things we watched growing up because that is what feels comfortable. That is what feels safe. And you will repeat that same pattern that you watched. It could be chaos. It could be yelling and fighting. It could be hot and cold communication, abandonment or mistrust.

These things that we learned growing up, we're going to recreate if we don't process them, address them, work through them and start healing on the inside so that our outer life can reflect how we really feel. I've been on my healing journey for many years. I have been trying and trying and I know that my last relationship was making me address in my own inner child healing.

I watched how I went through every relationship that I watched my mom go through as I grew up. I've seen the same patterns, the same way of being treated, the same story. I watched it all play out and each time I was like, this is my wound. This is how this is showing up. And when you're in a relationship with somebody who also has their wounds and you're playing out of each other's pain stories, that creates a toxic relationship.

If you aren't rooted in your own worth and value and don't show up from the heart and you're still stuck in your pain and your hurt, that's going to create that. That's going to manifesting in unhealthy ways. That's going to keep you at the jobs that you know are sucking your soul or so bad for you. It's going to keep you in those places that you know you don't belong anymore, but it's safe, it's comfortable, you're used to it, so you keep doing it.

I have found so many levels to healing that I had to keep going through. know, sometimes in those relationships we have to have those mirrors to learn what love is not, to learn what we don't want to deal with, what we'll never settle for again. We will learn also what is our toxic traits? How do you show up when somebody else is pushing into one of your wounds and your pain stories? What are you going to do when you're angry or sad?

And do you give yourself time to process those feelings? The biggest thing that we need to learn is how to slow down, stop, feel what we're feeling instead of overworking, pushing too hard, ignoring it, shoving it down. How many of you, when something chaotic happens, works longer or throws yourself into doing so much that you can't slow down to think or feel what's going on?

I've done this my whole life, even back to high school. I would throw myself into some of my schoolwork to avoid the stuff I was dealing with in life. So, what is your coping skill? What are you doing when life gets rough or there's feelings and emotions and chaos? What are you doing when life gets hard? Are you taking some time for yourself? Are you letting yourself feel? Are you processing it?

Or are you running and hiding? Are you shoving it away? What do you do? The next thing I want to jump into is have you addressed your inner child? Have you met her? Have you worked with her? Have you done any therapy, any coaching? Have you done any sort of healing with somebody else who pushes you, holds you accountable, asks you the hard questions?

makes you reflect. Do you look at yourself and ask, okay, how am I creating this? How am I making this happen more in my life? Now, I'm not victim blaming here. I'm not saying everything is your fault. And I am saying you have responsibility to. There is two sides to that. We all have our own responsibility of, maybe we did grow up a certain way or we do react a certain way. Well, that is your responsibility then to see if that

healthy? it helpful? Is it good for you? Is it good for the person you're in relationship with? When was the last time you let yourself actually reflect on your actions? On the words you're saying? Have you popped off and yelled and said some really mean things and hurt somebody? And can you catch yourself in those moments? Can you start finding that pattern interrupt? First you have to notice the pattern, figure out what it is.

What are the triggers? What are the things that are going to push you towards this pattern? And then can you acknowledge it, witness it, and stop yourself before it goes deeper into it? I am a fiery Aries. When there is a conflict and things are heated, I know that I need to step away, take a breath, ground my energy, and breathe and get out of the situation for a little bit. Otherwise, my fire is going to come out and I'm going to say some things that I should not say.

that I will probably regret later. I haven't done that in a long time and I'm very grateful, but when someone pushes and pushes and pushes, it's going to pop open, right? So I have that awareness with myself that, hey, I need a moment. I know how I can be when I'm heated. I need to take a moment and maybe I need to go take a bath or go be in a lake. Water helps me a lot or just be outside in nature. I know that

When I started this new relationship I was in, I had to communicate that like, look, if we are getting into a heated conversation and we are hurting each other, we need to take a break. I needed time away to process, to feel, journal, to cry, whatever it is. But I also need to know that you're not going anywhere. You know, my partner shared with me that he might go to the garage or go for drive or might have to go somewhere. And I'm like, okay, that's good to know.

And if you're going to go somewhere, can you just tell me, even if I'm mad at you, just simple, babe, I'm going to go outside for a while. When I come back, we can talk about this. Or I really need some time away. I'm going to go fishing and I will, we can talk about this tomorrow. But just that communication, because I have the pain and the wounding of, if he's leaving, he's going with some other woman or he's going to go find comfort in the arms of another woman like people have in the past.

So being able to even have that awareness and then the communication to share that with friends, with partners, being able to communicate at a job when something is not feeling right or it's not being done right and it's upsetting you, you know, how can we be aware of these, catch ourselves in the pattern, change our actions and communicate what can help. That takes a lot of...

That's not easy. We can't just figure that out by ourselves. It takes time, effort, and your awareness and ability to process and do those

And then with that, you know, we're doing our own healing work and that's how we get to be in our softness. That's how we get to be in our heart. You can't be in your soft girl era if you have your walls up and guards and shields and knives and you're ready to fight and go to war every moment. Like I had many years of having to have those boundaries up and wear my shield and have a sword for protection and fight every time I needed to protect myself. Finally.

I created and got out of the toxic situation so that I can feel safe enough to set that all down. I quit the bar job I was at for nine, 10 years. I quit that job three times. I finally got away, stayed away because I knew money was good, but it was not good for my heart and soul. It was not in alignment with why I'm here and my purpose, my energy, protection and healing. It did not align. So I had to be done with that.

I got into a safe space in a home where I have trees and nature around me and I have my altars and just sacred space for myself to feel and slow down and breathe. I have created this safe space so that I know who I am, how I am, what I'm going through, and that I have the tools, the space, and the time to be able to get through everything that I need to.

So I hope so far you have taken this in of that we have to do the healing work. We have to create this space. We have to get out of the toxic things. We have to get out of the unhealthy relationship. There might be a relationship with somebody you love so much, but you guys are fighting all the time. They're not treating you or showing up in that relationship. And maybe you guys are being the worst versions of yourself together. You can try therapy. You can do the things I have.

And I've really learned that we cannot beg someone to love us at the level we need if they aren't capable of it. So you need to accept and learn if somebody else is capable of loving you at the level that you deserve. And are you capable of loving others at the level they deserve that they want?

How much work have you done? Do you know what love is? Do you know what feminine energy is? Do know what masculine energy is? Are you able to let somebody else lead you? Do you feel safe enough in your intuition, your body, your trust, and what feels good in your answers that you can allow somebody else to take the reins and lead and you can kind of watch and trust that if it is gonna go...

wrong or if it does start leading a certain way that you'll be able to speak up for yourself, that you'll be able to communicate and say how you feel in a healthy manner so that it's received, or are you gonna yell and scream and kick and fight and get angry and mad and not communicate before you hit that point? There's so much to it. Being in your soft girl era, know, flowy dresses, playfulness, fun, yes, and trusting your intuition.

doing the inner work of looking at myself, when am I showing up in my pain or my victimhood? When am I showing up and I'm not feeling safe? So I'm trying to get big and tough and strong. I have to breathe and slow down and roll it back up. Okay, I am safe. I am in a healthy relationship or if you're out with your friends, like I am safe and I can communicate my wants, my needs, my boundaries. Are you able to bring that softness in life and trust?

Source universe, maybe your partner your friends the people around you that they have your best intentions like they have Your Highest good can you trust that your highest good? Can you trust that your partner has your highest good for their intention? Can you trust that the universe and source will take care of you and watch over you? Are you able to let go?

and surrender to allow in for better and bigger things. Can you open up and let Source and Universe show you the greatness of life when you are soft and able to allow in room for fluidity and movement? You know, we might want something so bad, we're holding onto it so tight that Universe isn't able to give us what they really want to show us.

because we're not looking at those opportunities. We're not opening up to receive the abundance, the joy, the love that is supposed to be coming our way.

How does that land in your body? Are you in your soft girl era? Do you want to be? Are you willing and open to do the work so that you can settle into the safety of your own body, your intuition, and your feminine energy? It took some time and some effort. I've been a feminine embodiment coach for five years now. And I would say the last two is when I've gotten to

Deepen my femininity even more and really anchor into this soft girl era I had so much time and that warrior energy and that masculine protector do go go go do all the things and finally Finally, I feel like I'm able to like Keep it all down. I don't have to hold on to the sword and the shield that I finally get a flow

with life and co-creating and the joy of life now, the safety, the love, the abundance and just all the unconditional support that I have now because I'm able to ask for help. I'm able to appreciate and like tell people how grateful I am for how they're supporting me. Sharing how I need to be supported. Being able to communicate my wants and needs while also asking what somebody else wants and needs so it can be reciprocal.

The softness and the femininity can be fun and easy to flow until the shadow part comes out when we get hurt or walked over. So we still have to have the boundaries. We have to be able to communicate and know what our limits are. The inner work really starts with you and it's possible and we can do this. I'm gonna finish up here soon. I hope this inspires you. I just wanna say that all that I've shared with you, how I've gotten here, what...

I'm feeling and doing now is because of the Breaking the Cycles work that I do, the ancestral unraveling, opening up to address your inner child, breaking the cycles that you learn from your childhood, from your family and your caretakers, and shifting into pleasure and receiving in your feminine energy as possible.

I'd love to do some one-on-one work with you and drop you into your body, into safety, and help you find your own answers and your steps forward. This is a co-creative coaching container with me that is the juice of my work. It's why I'm here, it's how I'm showing up to provide other women with that safety net to be heard, to be seen, to be felt, so that you know it is possible. You can be in your soft girl era too.

You can embrace your feminine energy and learn the difference and go back and forth between the feminine and masculine. Have that balance. We need both sides. We need to be able to intertwine both. And to do that, we need to dig in and find the support and the safety within ourselves and our community and have that one-on-one support too. If that's something you're interested in, check out ChelseaWildfire.com, Breaking the Cycle. That is my...

Online course that is my favorite thing to help lead people through. I would love to work with you. Send me a message, an email. Let's connect and learn more about it. You can even do a free 30 minute call to ask questions to feel if we are a good fit or not and if you're ready for it. Because it does take some commitment. Your healing, your soft girl era takes some time and effort, but it feels

so good when you get there and you land there. I hope you're feeling inspired, excited, and I hope you start digging in to the softness that is within you and opening up to receive, feeling the love and the pleasure that is available to you.