Ahh 2020,
What a time to be alive.
It's been a journey for sure. So many ups and downs, personally, and for the collective.
This is a time of deep change within and without.
I'll admit I got caught up in fear, self-doubt and old stories. I got stuck.
It felt hard to move, to show up or speak out.
Sometimes when we are about to have our biggest breakthrough is when we freeze.
The fear of what we could be, starts to expand.
Who might we be beyond this belief?
What will happen if I let go of my old ways of being?
Who am I to do this?
Can I actually do it?
Then the "What if's" come out to play ...
What if it's a disaster ?
What if I fail ?
What if people don't like it ?
What if it's not good enough?
No matter what it is that we want to do in pursuit of our dreams there will be fear.
No one is immune to fear.
As much as these thoughts creep in and I felt my not enough story trying to hold me back, I trusted.
There is a time to rest, to reflect, to receive and to do.
Especially in the flow of the feminine, the importance of each step is completely necessary. Though not ever linear, the feminine has an inner knowing of what to do.
This has been my time to rest, nourish myself and test my principles.
Do I walk the walk?
Or just talk the talk?
I had some shadow work to do in love and communication. I had inner personal work to focus on before helping others on their journey. And that's ok.
I am here my loves to say, I am still doing the work and always will be. I share my truth with you, my vulnerability, to be genuine. I too want to be heard and understood. To be known for authenticity, not perfection.
Sometimes fear gets the best of me too. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.
Moving beyond fear takes trust,
in yourself, your journey and the process.
Trust in the flow of life and what it is that you are here to do.
Even when I get impatient and want to do more, be more and compete.
I know that if it doesn't FEEL right, it will not come out right.
If I move from a place of fear or scarcity, others will feel that.
So I took my time, consulted my tarot decks and my inner knowing.
I did my journaling, I napped, I nourished the Goddess within and took my time.
I learned a lot about myself and my own personal seasons.
But most of all I learned what to do when I feel stuck.
When the fear creeps in, don't run or hide.
Sit with it.
Ask what is underneath it?
What are you truly afraid of?
Feel it, allow the space in your body to be felt.
Breathe. Feel some more.
Find small movements to get it flowing and moving through the body.
Connect to your heart and womb, to your own inner knowing, to FEEL the next step.
Take your time. Don't rush.
Remind yourself you are safe and Divine.
Whats meant to be will be.
Trust and flow.